The View is in big trouble. With ratings in the toilet and a fan base increasingly disinterested in their Leftist ways, the show was ready for cancellation when Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar made one last desperate move: they’re going to do the show for free.

Their stage is so important to them that they’d give up nearly $6 million each per year just to keep it going.

“It makes sense,” said Candace Owens, “they don’t live in the real world.” Ms. Owens spoke very eloquently and her hair was lovely.

As for the show, runners say they have a hard time finding guests and that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to manage Goldberg. “She’s out of control,” commented Kid Rock, who was there to do an interview in another studio when Goldberg attacked him. “She called me a Dr. Phil lookalike. It was very hurtful.”

Kid isn’t the only celebrity who feels the wrath. Ted Nugent, who was also in the building for other purposes, says she threw chicken salad at him, which was especially disturbing because he’s a vegetarian.

“I try to live healthily, and to have dark meat and mayonnaise launched in my direction was anything but welcome,” said the Nuge.

Goldberg and Behar are unavailable for our questions, and the protection order against us getting too close is still in place, but we’ll do our best to keep you updated on this developing storyline.


No comments yet. Why don’t you start the discussion?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *