Stephen Billings Martinoskovich, better known as Steve Martin, led an amazing life for more than 70 years. Unfortunately, it has come to a tragic end. After returning from a short trip to the Dominican Republic, the famous actor and musician fell ill and died before anyone knew what was wrong.

According to the Dominican Republic, Martin’s death isn’t their concern because unlike the other Americans who have died there, Martin died at home a week later and he was actually of Russian descent, not American.

The notion is preposterous, of course, and the FBI is looking into it. Too many Americans have died to not blow every coincidence way out of proportion, especially when it’s a beloved public figure like Steve Martin.

The Martin family has asked for privacy during this difficult time as they import a shaman from neighboring Haiti to release the demons from his soul so he can be accepted by Christ at his homecoming.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the families and friends of the Martins but especially for President Trump, who lost a huge supporter in a town where support doesn’t come easy.

Steve Martin will always be remembered as a poor minority immigrant who made his way past that fence and into stardom.

Back in bowl, Steve. Back in bowl.


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