Contact Conservative Tears:

For business inquiries, you can reach my spam folder at:

americaslastlineofdefense@gmail.com

Because I guarantee I’m not interested.

For thoughts, opinions, or commentary, you can reach my spam folder at:

americaslastlineofdefense@gmail.com

Because I guarantee I don’t care.

If you’re really upset and need to scream at something, you can reach my Google Voice mailbox at

‪(207) 770-1749‬

I’ll go ahead and listen to those, because they’re always good for a laugh.

If you’d like to send love letters, bags of dicks, or exotic animal feces, you can reach my garbage can at:

Christopher Blair

dba Busta Troll

171 South St. Gorham, ME 04038

Please know that I love you too. Smooches.