Colorado Head Coach Deion Sanders has been in the national spotlight a lot lately for his play-calling on the field. What he’s not getting any attention for is the woke “anthem kneeling” movement.
That’s because Sanders is so opposed to the whole thing that he benched one of his star players for the Oregon game, which ended in a devastating loss.
“He had to learn,” said Sanders, “that’s not why we’re here. If you want to protest, get a liberal arts degree and go hang out with a bullhorn on the quad.”
The player he sat out, Running Back Joe Barron, issued an apology immediately after the game and promised he’ll never exercise his 1st Amendment rights where it may interfere with his job again.
“Sanders is a revolutionary,” said ALLOD Sportsball Correspondent Tara Newhole, “He managed to lose by a huge number and still make everything okay by pandering to people too ignorant to understand a simple 93-second protest.”
It was a masterful move by Sanders, who swears he has no idea what we’re talking about. “Who the hell are you people?” He asked, “Why are you hiding in my bushes?”
Just one more celebrity who would rather take out a restraining order than answer a few questions under a blinding light after 46 hours of sleep deprivation, patriots. God Bless America.
