Former Congresswoman Michele Bachmann Dead at 57

Michele Bachmann, the Congresswoman made famous for being elected in a landslide even though she was ridiculously underqualified, is dead at 57.

Bachmann started a trend in America that gave us such greats as Marjorie Taylor-Green and Lauren Boebert, steering us away from mainstream politicians with “safe and rational” ideas. Her contributions to our legislative system are second to none.

Bachmann led the Republican caucus during the Tea Party years as they tried to answer the tough questions about Obama’s birth certificate, Benghazi, and the tan suit scandal. To this day, her assertions about deadly gases are quoted by scientists across the globe to point out the “stupidity” of the conservative mindset, proving that the whole concept of global warming is a liberal lie.

Basically, she owned the libs right up until her death.

The family has asked for privacy during this difficult time. The medical examiner says Bachmann was running her car in the garage while giving her teacup chihuahuas a bath, and she accidentally died somehow:

“We’re not really sure what happened. The only gas we could identify was carbon monoxide, and as we all know, we’re not very sure how harmful that is. So…we may never know what killed her, sadly.”

Former President Trump has petitioned Rome to have her sainted. He says Francis owes him a favor.

God bless America.

 

 

About Flagg Eagleton 62 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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