Danny DeVito, Beloved Actor and Avid Trump Supporter, Dead at 74

Daniel Milenskovich Wilekenston DeVito, 74, passed this morning surrounded by his family. He had been battling an undisclosed illness for some time.

A spokesman for the cats said they were pleased that Mr. DeVito had alerted the building manager that he believed he was dying, allowing paramedics to remove his body before the family got hungry.

The coroner says the beloved actor was missing a finger or two and had been licked clean but was otherwise in perfect condition to be donated to science.

Danny was best known for being a funny little bastard, but for the sake of this article we’ll also point out his love for Trump and all things Trump says, because that’s really all the audience that stopped reading after the first sentence then clicked a shiny ad care about.

In reality, Devito endorsed Bernie and would never worship at the altar of a moron. But…the headline needed something and turning rational people into taters works every time.

Rest in peace, Danny DeVito, when you really do pass. I love It’s Always Sunny.

Rock on. And God Bless America.

 

About Flagg Eagleton 43 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.