It was a sad day in America as George Zimmerman, beloved Republican hero for his championing of the 2nd Amendment and his killing of Trayvon Martin, died today at the age of 41.
He is survived by few friends.
A report by the Dunning-Kruger Times said that Zimmerman was killed by a freak accident during his his “pleasure time.” He was said to have put his “part” down the barrel of an AR-15 in order to use it for one of his infamous “pleasure sessions.”
The weapon reportedly went off, striking Zimmerman in the heart and esophagus. He was pronounced dead on the scene.
Longtime attorney for Zimmerman issued the following statement about the death:
“Well, I could see this coming. He liked to play with fire so he was bound to get burned eventually.
He was a pretty terrible person with a long history of abusing women and defrauding people, but his heart is now in the right place – with a hole in it.
Since he has no family or friends, I will be giving the eulogy at his funeral. It will be an emotional day for all involved.”
Zimmerman will be long remembered for his role in protecting the Second Amendment and killing minorities for threatening us with their presence.
President Trump even had some remarks about Zimmerman:
“George loved me. He was a big fan of mine so I like him. Very tremendous guy. I liked what he did in Florida. They tell me he volunteered for my campaign. He really loved me. He was a real American.”
The fact that the President had such nice words for him shows how important Zimmerman was to conservative causes. He will be dearly missed by many.
We can only hope someone will be able to fill his shoes and continue his life’s work of fraud and murder.