‘Diamond’ Dead of a Heart Attack at 52

One of President Trump’s most avid supporters, Diamond, is dead at just 52-years-old. According to medical records at Mount Augustine Cedar’s Pinetree Medical Center, she died of a massive heart attack.

The official cause of death, since it’s 2020, is “complications that may or may have to do with coronavirus.”

While we’re not sure which of the women pictured is Diamond, we are sure that whichever one is Silk is devastated. In a statement to OANN, Silk told Tomi Lahren:

“I’m just devastated. We were supposed to ride this train until Trump loses in November, write another book, and retire to one of the Galapagos Islands together.

“If the base knew we were ‘together,’ they would have never accepted us.

“I’m so alone now. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Diamond had amassed quite a fortune performing at rallies and pretending to love our great President. He once called her “my favorite African.” Now that she’s gone, a void has been formed that will be difficult to fill.

Brad Parscale, Trump’s campaign manager, says the role of Diamond will never be the same:

“We’ll have her replaced within a wek or so, but the new Diamond won’t be the same. Hopefully we can figure out which one she was so the transistion will go smoothly.”

President Trump hasn’t commented on the matter other than to say that Diamond was “one of the good ones.”

Go with God, Diamond, whoever you were.

About Flagg Eagleton 43 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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