Former Speaker of the House John Boehner Dead At 79

Former Speaker of the House, John Boehner, has passed away at the age of 79. Born in 1934, Boehner moved into politics at a young age, ultimately achieving the 5th-highest office in the land, Speake of the House of Representatives.

Before his rise to national politics, Johnson Boehner was the chair of his county’s Republican Committee, an esteemed member of the Niles, Ohio School Board, and Captain of the Hubbard Ohio Football team, along with New England Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick.

Boehner served under General Bradley in Korea and spent more than 20 years as an active-duty reservist in the US Marines. Before he died, he pledged a full third of his estate to Donald Trump’s re-election campaign, writing a letter that will go down in history as one of the greatest billings of support for our President:

“Donald Trump may not be pefect, but he’s all we have. If we don’t support him, chances are this counrty will move back to the path of human decency, which held us up from being truly great for at least two generations. If you can’t lat down your morals, your beliefs, and your reputation to stand behind him, you’re a disgrace to your country.”

Damned straight, patriots. Listen to John Boehner’s final words to the public. Do your part. Forget that Trump is a racist, xenophobic misogynist and do your duty to your country. Otherwise, we elect Democrats and watch the world survive on aborted fetuses and fake impeachments for the next generation.

God bless you, Jonthano Bituthane Boehner III. You’re a true American. May you rest in peace.

About Flagg Eagleton 35 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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