Duane ‘Dog the Bounty Hunter’ Chapman Found Dead

Suspected Patsy Scheme

Duane Lee Chapman, most famously known as “Dog the Bounty Hunter” has been found dead. As most everyone knows, his wife Beth passed away from a battle with cancer.

Dog continued living his life dangerously, chasing the bad guys and bringing them to justice, one bark at a time. His typical means of rounding up these criminals was with a lot of bark. Unfortunately, this time, it looks like he needed to use a bit more bite.

Sandy Batt, a spokesperson for the family, said this:

“It looks like Dog got run over by an ATV, walking home from his daughter’s house the other night. You can say there’s no such thing as ATV’s on city streets, but as for me and the family, we believe.”

She continued:

“He had been drinking a little too much orange juice, and his family begged him not to go. But, he had forgotten his medication, so he put on his jacket and ran out the door without his dough.”

But wait, there’s a little more to her statement:

“When we found him the other morning, at the scene of the attack. He had paw-prints on his forehead, and incriminating claw marks on his back.”

It certainly sounds as though someone wanted to send “Dog” a message.

Authorities suspect the murder is part of a giant patsy scheme involving a man named Elmo. Not much else is known about the crime at this time.

The family plans to make a donation of $5 million to the Trump 2020 campaign in his honor.

RIP Dog. You’ll be missed by so many.

About Norbert Heck 6 Articles
There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dott.

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