Wayne Newton Dead at 77 – Leaves $40 Million to ‘Dear Friend’ Donald Trump’s Campaign

Wayne Newton has gone to that great big parade float in the sky. After a 4-year battle with cancer of the 43rd sphincter muscle and testicular malignancies that made medical record books, Wayne Newton’s reign over Las Vegas is officially over.

Wilhelm Goebbels, the young man who would change his name to Goebelski at Ellis Island and again to Wayne Newton after being hit in the head with an apple, grew up in the Netherlands a typical Danish boy. After leaving for America due to…family trouble…in 1945, Newton found himself scrounging for change on the streets of New York.

Before long, Wilhelm had learned to slick back his hair and serenade the ladies. His singing hobby took off in the early 1960s when he was chosen to be a backup vocalist for War.

In 1980. Wayne Newton got his own show on the all-new, post-mobster movie era Vegas strip. He spent the next 39 years there, 4 nights a week, until his sphincter couldn’t handle it and yodeled involuntarily for the last time. His fans gathered at his theater in the MGM Grand and watched on the big screen live as their idol, the beloved Wayne Newton, sang Danke Schoen until he was dead.

The money raised from Newton’s Pay Per View exclusive — they sold 400 tickets at $100K each — will go directly to the MAGA 2020 campaign. Trump said he’s “saddened to lose a friend,” but ultimately it’s worth it for the cash haul

Thank you for everything, Mr. Newton. God bless.

About Flagg Eagleton 24 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.