Patrick Stewart Dead at 74: ‘Donald Trump Taught Me How to Live’

Patrick Stewart, the famous actor who played Captain Picard on Star Trek, has died tragically at the age of 74. His cause of death is unknown at this time.

Picard is also known for playing the leader of the X-Men, Professor Charles Xavier. He worked alongside such greats as Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds, and Jennifer Lawrence to bring the popular comic-book villain to life.

When Xavier wasn’t acting, Stewart was being more like Jean Luc, spending his days in the French countryside with an English accent for some reason. His friends say it wasn’t until he spent some time with Donald Trump that he truly learned how to live.

Jerry Ryan, who played Seven of Nine alongside Picard for years, says he was thrilled to take on a new lifestyle and live like a winner:

“Jean Luc was so happy to be free from the bonds of some stiff Broadway actor’s life. He needed to let loose, and his good friend Donald showed him how. He showed him that you don’t have to be ashamed to be assertive and pushy with women if you can afford good lawyers. His whole outlook changed. He joined Tinder and got himself some regularly.

Donald Trump is the best thing that ever happened to him.”

Picard spent so much time with Trump in 2013 and 2014 that people on the liberal side were beginning to wonder if he was the guy behind that fake Steele Dossier. Come to find out, Patrick Stewart was just a guest and a really close friend, and he never went to Russia.

The Stewart family says the death was very sudden and that in true Charles Xavier fashion, Jean Luc had no will prepared. His wife, Emelda Stewart Picard, says she’ll donate a large portion of his estate to the Border Wall fund. “It’s what Patty would have wanted.”

God Bless you, Captain. With great power…

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About Flagg Eagleton 20 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.