‘Magnum P.I.’ Star’s Final Words : ‘Help Trump To Help America’

FAREWELL, SIR.

It was a sad morning in Hollywood’s exclusive Batt Estates neighborhood as beloved actor, father, and Trump-supporting patriot Tom Selleck ended his long battle with Pokicardial Disaphasia, a rare and deadly condition causing the male nipples to inflame and expand until they become so large that the pressure on the heart and ribcage becomes overwhelming.  Selleck was 74 years old.

To celebrate his and Marvel Comic’s 75th anniversaries, Selleck’s final role will be as superhero “3-D Man” in 2020’s “Shitty Avengers”.

Selleck had a long and storied career, peaking as the title character in television’s “Magnum P.I.”, and branching out to the silver screen.  Wise casting choices led him to turn down the role of “Indiana Jones”, and to focus instead on the wildly popular “Quigly Down Under” franchise, as well as headlining as some cop guy in the blockbuster hit film “Runaway”.

Selleck reportedly learned a great amount of acting expertise from his co-star, master thespian Gene Simmons.

Selleck was surrounded by family and friends, and although most of his fortune went to them, a large donation was made to the Trump 2020 campaign.  A vocal supporter of America’s Globally Warmest President, his final words were an inspiration to us all.  Rest in peace, Quigly.  Rest in peace.