Dwarf Actor Who Played T.V.’s ‘ALF’, Dead at 48

SORRY TO SEE HIM GO.

A sadness crept over the small house on the edge of Lake Batt in Baggerstown, Florida, as friends and family bade farewell to actor and television legend Kenny Wayne Smales, best known as the lovable cat-consuming alien “Alf” from the long-running hit show.  Smales had retired after a long career, which flourished after Alf to include parts in various children’s programs, a stint as the Taco Bell chihuahua, and his critically-acclaimed role as “Spike” in the “Gremlins” feature motion pictures.

The actor spent 11 hours in a makeup chair to achieve the signature look, and says he based his character on Janet Reno.

Smales was born to Conservative Christian parents in Pork City, Kentucky, where he graduated from his local high school at the age of 22.  Trying, but failing to gain fame as a professional Basketball player, the driven gumdrop instead turned to the acting school down the street from a local manhole into which he had fallen.  His first role came after a casting call for muppet character “Rowf” for “Sesame Street” hit paydirt, and he climbed the Hollywood ladder from there to stardom.  Kenny had been battling Seacrest Disease for the past 4 years, and finally passed away last evening from drowning in a tropical fish aquarium.  Former Alf director Mike Oxbig made a statement to the press.

“Kenny was ten feet of talent squashed into 2 and a half feet of body.  Working with him gave me memories I will treasure for the rest of my life.  A true professional, and handy guy to set my coffee cup down on in-between takes, he truly knew his craft.  No one else could have played Alf the way he did.  As far as I’m concerned, he was truly at least 25 to 27 percent of a Robert DeNiro.  And that’s more than we could have dreamed.”

Smales was passed-over for the role of “Wilson” in the movie “Castaway” in favor of younger actor Shia LeBouf.

Services for the diminuative thespian will be held this Friday at 2 P.M. at a Barbie Dream House on a card table inside Her Lady of Perpetual Diptheria Church in Baggerstown.