Rudy Giuliani Suffers Massive Stroke – Doctors ‘Not Very Hopeful’ About His Chances

Rudy Giuliani was in the President’s limo this morning on his way to the Treasury to file an Amicus brief when he suffered what doctors¬†are calling a “massive stroke.” Giuliani, who is known to have little mini-strokes all the time, is in a vegetative state at Walter Lashley Dembrowski Memorial Hospital in Richmond, Virginia under the name “Thornton Heilshweger III,” which is his given name.

The White House is in an uproar over the loss of their number one legal mind. Art Tubolls, working in the West Wing’s Office¬†of Litigation and Propaganda, told Fox News:

“We’re kinda lost here. Rudy is our team captain. He would sit there with that look in his eye not saying anything and you would just…know what he was thinking. Some people would say that if he would just wake up, just having him in the room staring at us would bring the team back up to speed.”

There are those who have said it’s tough to tell if Rudy is awake or asleep sometimes, that’s how effective he is. We still wish him and his family all the thoughts and prayers we have available after the ones we rightfully reserve for ourselves and our loved ones.

Rudy may be on his way out, but at least his love for the Lord was solid and will guide him through the Pearly Gates.

About Flagg Eagleton 62 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.