It was a sad day in America yesterday, as Phil Robertson, star of the popular show Duck Dynasty, has died of complications from Kartoffel-Patate disease.

He is survived by his wife Brenda, his children, Willie, Jase, Jules, Alan, and countless grandchildren. Since Phil was a big Trump supporter, his family has requested donations to the Trump campaign in lieu of flowers. This shows how devoted the family is to good conservative causes.

Family friend of the Robertsons, Joe Barron, had this to say about Phil:

“Phil was always a great friend to me. Ever since we were kids, we’d always stand for the flag and kneel at the cross. That’s how we were raised back in the good old days. We could speak our mind too. If a colored person was rude, we’d put them in their place for sure. You can’t do that nowadays. It’s sad what the liberals have done to this country. I’m glad that Phil was a strong Trump supporter and did so much for his campaign. I’ll never forget that.”

President Trump is also giving Phil a posthumous Medal of Honor for his service to the Trump campaign. The family is very grateful for the honor, with family spokesman Ben Dover saying “it’s a great honor given to a great man”.

We don’t know who will take over the Duck Call business, but we can be sure that only quackers will be allowed near the Robertson family business as this is how it’s always been. If you can’t quack well, you can’t pack and sell.


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