If you were alive in the 1980s, you remember David Hasselhoff. He graced primetime for years as both a supercar-driving crimefighter and a buff LA lifeguard. His career made him one of the most famous recording stars in Germany, and the Comedy Central Hasselhoff Roast is one of the finest ever recorded.

The legend, David Hasselhoff, died last night, surrounded by family, friends, and select fans who won the “Hospice with Hoff” sweepstakes the family ran when they heard he was on his way to be with Jesus. “He was all-in,” said Harriet Hasselhoff, David’s second cousin and fourth wife, “he thought it would be great to have a few fans at his side.”


Tickets sold for $1.2 million each and there were 14 winners out of the 500 sold. The proceeds went to the David Hasselhoff Foundation for Remembering the Career of David Hasselhoff and the local food bank, which said they fed more than a dozen families because of the family’s generosity.

Even in death, David Hasselhoff continued to do the good work that made him so special in life. He will certainly be missed. Hasselhoff is survived by 5 ex-wives, 7 children, 18 grandchildren, and his current hetero-lifemate Kevin Smith.

Rest in peace, Hoff. You deserve the nap, big guy.


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